"I have no problem in sharing my laziness. Middle aged. Boring. With little in my life that says 'excitement ' one might even start to feel sorry for me. But above the modern day funny milks, endless dietary requirement questions or perhaps the realisation that I...will never fulfill my life ambitions, despite funny quirks of getting old and not understanding, I am more than willing to give second chances. It is with this in mind that I returned to PE in Monmouth, to play another game of what will they forget bingo. Both visits were later in the evening and although there were a few stragglers, the place was almost empty. No too dissimilar to a particular Bill Murray film from the early 90s, I witnessed the repetition of the chef trudging off at about 8.50pm, only to return with a box of Fosters larger i know, who the hell sells that stuff anymore?! Besides the shock of seeing him repeat the feat on both visits, the waiting staff were only too pleased to uphold their end of the bargain, and behave in the motionless, forgetful but also charming fashion. This included: Taking an age to take our order Forgetting various bits of the order Serving the wrong meal and different people at different times Taking an age to arrive with the bill Running out of certain ingredients like chicken shameful It 's not as if they were inundated with thousands of people. It also wasn 't as if our group was troubling (2 on one occasion, 3 the next) and without starters or any dietary requirements. Pleasant and moderately convivial, the serving staff were like a tyre with a slow puncture you can 't be bothered to fix effective for the most part, but just didn 't have the stamina. I know there is a great deal of pressure to save planetary resources, but i would have thought Wales, of all places, could have spared a jug or two of water for the table. We had politely requested it, in fact, twice on one occasion, but there was no give. That slowly deflating tyre had all but bottomed out. The redeeming feature of the place is that once the food arrived, it was as expected (save for the cold lasagna that was returned to the grill and cremated to the point of resembling a blistered crow if only I have water to sooth my boiling mouth). The pizza, I am told, was very nice. The salads nice and wholesome, the drinks wet and mostly cold. In conclusion. We skipped desert owing to our ever expanding waistline, and instead opted for the bill. It 's never a shock to see the prices, and actually, if it weren 't for the general cocks ups that clearly need training or managing out, the food was perfectly acceptable. I bear no grudge to the founder who introduced London to the birth of PE, or to the Chinese private equity group who now allow it proliferate our high streets...no. I am happy to spend this or even a little more for tasty treats that allow me to forget my age. But when doing so leads to me wasting the time I have left in waiting for orders to be taken or resolved, I am less happy. I 'll see you again PE Monmouth. I am not sure when, but it will be one day. Soon."
