"Prince Gastronome. Once again, I break form and review a chain. Patisserie Valerie locations can be found everywhere, but never outside of the UK, with most infesting London like one of those rashes which feel sooo good when you scratch them. Edinburgh has three.... Patisserie Valeries, not rashes. Why would I review such a location...maybe because I wish to support them. You see, if Patisserie Valerie (and you have to know I am copy/pasting each time I mention them) was coffee-centered like every café chain in North America, I wouldn’t give them a second glance. By default, I would have preferred to avoid a chain in favor of a local independent, but I am glad I was convinced otherwise. For one, Patisserie Valerie centers on cakes, fantastic cakes. They are all about their bakery, so that I can get behind. The service presents Patisserie Valerie as much a restaurant over a traditional café where you pick and choose pastries twisting in a display guarded by plexi. They even offered a winter menu which Savanna and I took advantage of. Three courses for $12.95, and while Savanna ordered the hummus with smoked paprika and warm pita bread with the roast butternut squash stuffed with mozzarella, peppers, basil, and sundried tomato, I had the chicken liver wild mushroom pate with crostini and sunflower shaped ravioli stuffed with asparagus, garden peas, butter and sage. And there will be cake. Or rather a slice of Valerie’s Gateaux. And they were amazing. We each chose one slice of different cakes, taken from a list of about twenty. I don’t know why anyone would want to visit Starbucks with awesome places like Patisserie Valerie sitting around. But, I guess, that’s the way of the world. When I was in London, my mother and I went into a Starbucks to buy a novelty souvenir for a family member. If I ever took her to Patisserie Valerie, that would pretty much be the end of her fascination with that—look, I don’t drink coffee, okay? I could never understand people’s fascination with it. I have tried it numerous times, with sugar, cream, vanilla, topped with chocolate and frothed to my desire, and I have never enjoyed a cup. Patisserie Valerie serves coffee and tea...and cake. So try Patisserie Valerie instead of ordering that double latte enema from the green siren for once. Green siren, you know, the symbol for Starbucks. By the way, did you know that the siren represents manic obsession and death? I’m not kidding; in myth, they murdered you for looking pretty. Still undecided, try this: Go to Google Images and just enter Starbucks. What do you get? You get twenty variations of the logo with the occasional paper cup. The dominant attribute they are trying to convey, which Starbucks promotes, is their logo, not their actual product, though one may argue their logo IS their product. Now, enter Patisserie Valerie and see what you get. Getting hungry aren’t you? Food: 3.5/5 Service: 3/5 Presentation: 3/5 Value: 4/5 Recommendation: 3.5/5"
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