"Oh, what a delightful evening of fine dining and impeccable service! We were aware of the 2-hour table turnaround, a rule as sacred as ancient rituals but, alas, not consistently followed by mere mortals, I mean, restaurants. The food, an ephemeral delight that momentarily distracted us from impending eviction, particularly the oysters, which deserve an encore. After our grand feast, a proclamation was made in the most gracious manner: Out you go! No alternative seating offered, not even a spot at the bar to revel in our impending exile. It was a friend 's birthday, and what better way to celebrate than being unceremoniously kicked out before the dessert and the joyous serenade of Happy Birthday ? Seeking solace, I summoned the manager, who, in an act of managerial prowess, dispatched minions to chant the sacred mantra of the 2-hour table rule. In my quest for compensation, I was met with robotic responses and a generous offer to waive the discretionary service charge – a gesture as heartfelt as a rock. Not once were we graced with a reminder of the sacred 2-hour rule, nor did the waitstaff perform with the urgency befitting a Michelin-starred sprinter. The pièce de résistance? The epic saga to settle the bill, a riveting 25-minute ordeal where we could 've devoured a dessert, sang the birthday anthem, and maybe even choreograph a dance routine. Shocking service indeed, a performance deserving of a standing ovation – or maybe just a swift exit and a vow to never return."
