"A birthday supper for two. Started well with a champagne cocktail. Starters uninspiring crab salad and langoustine, could have done better at home. Then they turned the music up. Why? Place was full and buzzy, now I can’t hear myself let alone my wife....Main (Quinoa and something) very uninspiring, without taste or finesse, have often done much better at home. Had a salad with it: nice mozzarella, tough orange, old fennel, no dressing; asked for some oil, which appeared; low grade stuff, always do much better at home. So far just seriously disappointed. Then waiter tips a couple of tablespoons of olive oil over my suit. A clean napkin appeared to mop it with. After a couple of minutes to see if that was it, wife heads off to beard the manager, who is a lot less than fulsomely apologetic, but offers to take the service off the bill. We negotiate a calm departure. Not fine dining. Or waitering. All in all, I have had happier birthdays. We rescued the evening with some fresh fruit and ice cream from Tesco."