"At six and three quarters, being the oldest person in the room affords a certain air of esteem. One can look down on one’s peers with lofty arrogance informed by world-weary experience. *Tch* and *tut*, my little rugrat friends, what little you know of the world! Kathryn White asked me to sit next to her in assembly yesterday, and I said, like, no way lady! Dude, I’m a P-L-A-Y-A, and ain’t no crazy ho gonna cramp my style – HELL NO!At thirty-three (minus one day), the same does not hold true. First of all, sitting next to Kathryn White does *not* mean I’m going to marry her. Second, propping up the bar at the Mustard Lounge, I fear I may well be old enough to have fathered some of the punters. Third, it’s way past my bedtime.Come the morning, I am not feeling sprightly. By the grace of God, however, I’m not hungover, as such, and can at least mooch into town without too much ado.I’ve been meaning to eat at The Library for a while, but have never managed to arrive in time for lunch. Today, however, I can sit there, warm and fuzzy with smugness, if a little woozy from sleep deprivation and the really high ceiling.The fish options look good, but for reasons self-evident to anyone but vegetarians and teetotallers, the curative properties of the lah-di-dah fry-up seem more appropriate. We both order the hand-cut chips, thick-cut bacon and fried egg: it is triumphant, standing us in good stead for another night of acting half our age.The combination of book-lined shelves and purple décor make the place an ideal location for nerdy goths. Nerdy nerds, however, will despair at the filing of said books, which have been lined up with wanton disregard for any established classification system, happily marrying Bruce Lee with crochet and motor racing with Middlemarch.Such irregularity was echoed in the friendly, if erratic service, and the disappointing dessert. The espresso mousse was relatively feeble, with texture like bread in a swimming pool and a flavour more in line with Revels than tiramisu; frankly, I was more excited by my subsequent trip to the toilet.This not to damn the dish unfairly, however, as The Library’s exquisite toilets are perfect for restroom aficionados, and are surely shortlisted among the finest in Norwich."
