Maker's Mark
Scoff Banter Kensington

Scoff Banter Kensington

68-86 Cromwell Road Gloucester RoadSW7 5BT, London, United Kingdom

Wine • Fish • Steak • Coffee


"We arrived for our 12.30 booking at 12.00, this was obviously frowned upon, we asked if we could stay and wait which they unhappily agreed. We were taken to our table at 12.30, a few minutes later we were given the drinks menu, we asked if there was a different menu for the two course meal deal, they said “no not really just order off the main menu” and they handed over the food menus. We received our drinks and announced that we we’re ready to place our order. 3 x fish and chips and 1 x burger and chips, we thought they had gone fishing as this took so long to get to the table. It arrived….. the fish was delicious, very white and flaky, the chips were bad, under cooked and as for the mushy peas, I have never had garden peas mashed before, disgusting. We ordered desserts which eventually arrived but without cutlery. We asked for some cutlery and again waited 7 minutes for a spoon to arrive. We asked again for the bill, it didn’t arrive, we then asked another two members of staff for the bill, when we received the bill we had been charged full price for the meal deals, we challenged this and they said at the point of actually giving our food choices we should have said two of the orders were meal deals. We refused to pay the service charge as we have never received such bad service, in the mean time throughout our lunch time experience staff were continuously moving tables and chairs all around us. Needless to say we will never return to this chain of restaurant again."

Banyan On The Thames

Banyan On The Thames

34 Lombard Road Battersea London, SW11 3RF, United Kingdom

Thai • Asian • Steak • Chicken


"Banyan on the Thames is a nomenclatural inexactitude because the banyan tree is an inhabitant of the Indian subcontinent, rather than being passed off as a floating ficus on the Thames. Belonging as it does to the fig family, the original banyan drops spectacular aerial roots from its branches to the ground beneath its immense verdant canopy, producing a most unique treat for the eyes. The name of this tree has been appropriated by the Raphael on the Left Bank hotel in London for its restaurant. Maybe it aptly symbolises the roots of the restaurant being in the subcontinent. What strikes one about the place on first sight is someone's apparent obsession with the Medusa, signifying the Versace brand, which appears on every table top and virtually all over. The second striking feature is the artificial grass laid out both indoors and outside in the so called “garden” where there is a profusion of fake flowers, creepers and shrubs. It looks tacky and creepy and screams fake. The atmosphere in the so called garden, was not helped by the music played at decibels that are designed to hurt the ear drums. Food was fair to middling in quality, taste and presentation. The standard of service was reasonable. On the other hand, the location is magical. You can spend quite a while looking out through the large glass windows as the world goes by. The Thames flows quietly, more water under Battersea bridge, while you are people watching. And if you are feeling energetic, one has the opportunity of course to refresh oneself by striding along the Thames in the company of others who may be ambling, jogging and strolling. In conclusion, it’s really nothing to write home about"