"This is the 3rd time I 've visited. After today, its likely to be the last. We waited to be seated longer than I would have expected in light of how quiet the place was. So much so that other people started to Q behind us, creating a bottleneck with people leaving. On being seated, we waited again excessive time to be served. When we were eventually served, we ordered tea for both of us and cake. The tea came quickly. But unfortunately, the cakes appeared to have gone AWOL. We waited. And waited. I finished my first cup of tea. We waited. I eventually asked where the cakes were. They eventually arrived. If my vanilla slice was fresh, I 'm a Dutch man. The pastry was soggy, and the custard a nondescript block of tasteless nothingness. By this point, I 'd lost the will to live when a member of staff who was the host at the door, decided to stand in front of our table and stretch, displaying to the whole restaurant that he was wearing blue Calvin Klein boxers. Getting more and more exasperated by this badly managed cabaret, I asked for the bill. We had been told that as we arrived at 2.20pm we wouldn 't qualify for the £5 cake and cuppa offer, which I was quite happy to accept. In light of the fact our cakes were so late, I thought this may have been overlooked, but alas not. £13 for poor service, and at best mediocre cakes. I 'd hate to see how they cope when it 's busy. Won 't be back."
